I Really, Really Do

Poor Ozai and Azula. They just wanted to go out and see a nice movie. And instead, they got stuck with The Last Assbender.

[FURIOUS FANGIRL RANT]

There are so, SO many awful scenes - actually, the entire movie is pretty much one massively awful scene - but the one I chose to parody holds a special place in my heart. And by "special", I mean "deeply, intensely despised," because it manages to take a massive shit all over Ozai and Azula in a remarkably short period of time. A good sign you've made a crappy film? When the audience can tell, after FIVE SECONDS of screentime, that you've already butchered a character.

Just compare it to the original. At the end of ATLA's Book One, we got maybe a minute - probably less, though I'm not going to go back and check - of this pair, effectively a teaser for the next season. Ozai had two lines: "Iroh is a traitor, and your brother Zuko is a failure. I have a task for you." And Azula didn't have any. But we got his voice, all deep and scary and ominous, you know, setting the mood just right. And we got her face, telling us more than any lines could've at that point. And we got that badass background music, that creepy, shrieking music that just starts wailing like crazy in the closeup, and the scene is AWESOME. Perfect closer for the season.

But this...what IS this? It's a travesty. WORSE than a travesty. We don't get scary. We don't get ominous. All we get is Ozai talking like it's going out of style, just chattering away - I mean, he pretty much EXPOSITS at Azula for like three hours (I swear to God, this movie handles exposition worse than any I've ever seen), spouting a long list of information Shyamalan apparently couldn't work in anywhere else. And just when I'm about to drop off to sleep, he finally shuts up, so the camera can cut to a shot of Azula, looking inexplicably twitchy and giving us her best poor-man's Joker smile. This bitch is channeling Crazula TWO MOVIES before she's supposed to lose it! Never mind that an essential aspect of pre-finale Azula's character is being cool, calm and collected at all times, much to the chagrin of her opponents; no, we're just going to ignore that, and have her exhibiting Tourette's symptoms for no goddamn reason.

And if that weren't enough, lo and behold - IT SPEAKS. Only one line. But oh, what a line it is. What a feeble, disgraceful attempt at acting, and what an insult to Azula, whose voice actress was always such a fantastic credit to her character. Azula's not Azula without Grey DeLisle at the mic. But Summer Bishil could've at least TRIED. She could've given us something more than THIS. "I do, Father," Ticzula simpers, in a tone of voice that sounds as if she's trying to seduce Ozai. And failing, of course. Ticzula even fails at failing. She spits this line out like a middle-school drama student; I can't help but think a monkey could've done it better.

[/FURIOUS FANGIRL RANT]

Well. I could vent my hatred of Shyamalan all day, but I'm running out of space here. Enjoy the comic.

Oh, and the image of the theatre in the first panel comes from [link]